illustration of two students standing together
February 14, 2019
3 mins read

A student's guide to crushes

Let’s talk about crushes.

Maybe you clicked on this post because you have one.

When they smile at you, you melt. When they’re near, your heart starts doing somersaults and you daydream about holding hands.

You’re probably blushing. Let’s do something about it, shall we?

Cupid’s tip #1: You can’t be invisible.

Do they know you exist? Are you giving them a chance to experience the undeniable charm that is your existence? (You’re more charming than you think, be confident!)

Start off small. Mention a common interest or pay a sweet compliment. Small gestures also go a long way—hold the door, lend a pencil, or greet them with a short and simple “Good morning!”

No matter what, don’t try to be someone you’re not just to impress them; you’ll want someone who likes you for who you really are.

Cupid’s tip #2: Read between the lines.

You’ve successfully made sure that they know you exist. Woohoo! But are they interested in being more than friends?

These signs tell the tale...

Body language

Brushes on the elbow. Taps on the shoulder. Subtle moments when their arms (whoops) drape over your shoulders. (Okay, maybe that’s too optimistic—if a crush did that to me, I would faint.)

When you chat, do they lean forward in their chair? Are their toes pointed towards you? Are their hands sometimes conveniently placed in close proximity to yours? Do they lock eyes with you and hold your gaze?

Signs of nervousness

If you’re more into the shy type, do they seem nervous when talking to you? Do they stutter or talk a lil’ too fast? Choke on their words a bit, maybe say the wrong things? Maybe they’re nervous because you’re pretty cute in their eyes, too. Wink wink.

Laughing at your jokes…a lot

Even if your jokes aren’t funny. (Just kidding.)

But maybe they’re not smiling at your joke or at the fact that you’re witty. Instead, they may be laughing at the beautiful reality that they’re with you to begin with. (I definitely use ‘laughing at the joke’ as an excuse to express my explosive happiness about their existence.)

Making extra effort to talk to you

If they seem to find excuses to talk to you, they might be craving a little more 1-on-1 time. Do you notice them leaping over lecture hall seats and sprinting up the stairs to simply hold the door for you and ask how your morning was going? (I wish.)

Don’t mistake friendliness for flirting though. Do they treat others the same, or are they going out of their way just for you?

Cupid’s tip #3: Don’t invite yourself to the friendzone.

This means don’t be lazy with your flirting. If they display some or all of the signs above, you’re almost at the finish line. Don’t mess it up!

No matter what, don’t talk about other people you find attractive, and don’t call them “bro” or “sis” or “buddypal” or “friendaroo!”.

Display the same flirty signs back! Smile at them naturally. Make extra effort to talk to them. Maybe even take it to the next step and—GASP!—start messaging “good morning”.

Cupid’s tip #4: Shoot your shot when the time is right.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

As cheesy as this quote is, it’s true—what if, while you’re chickening out, they’re waiting for you to confess?

Ask yourself: What have you got to lose? If they say no, they’re simply not the one, and you’re on to bigger and better. Just try!

Be creative with it!

The best way to win someone over is to show your effort and make it personal to them. What do you know about their hobbies and interests? Take this knowledge and make your confession unique!

Or do something totally and undeniably cute. In the past, someone had confessed to me with sticky notes they snuck into my locker. The last note said, “Do you like me? If yes, hug me. If no, do a backflip.” I couldn’t do a backflip. (And don’t worry, I did like them.)

You can always totally keep it subtle and smooth, too. See how they react, and of course, don’t pressure them to respond immediately.

Cupid’s tip #5: There’s no rush.

I’m not expecting you to win a crush by the end of the day. Everybody’s story is different, so follow the natural flow of things, read the signs, and follow your heart. Cheesy, I know.

This also means that if you don’t succeed, it’s perfectly okay. All this means is that they weren’t the one for you. The worst thing you can do is try to get cuffed, just for the sake of getting a boo. When the right one comes, you’ll feel it.

So get out there this Valentine’s Day and make Cupid proud!